ramblesMentalBlock Rambles...an essay!Right, here's a nice little fantasy yarn! I did this in
my recent practice exam, when we were asked to describe (in letter form)
the place of our dreams within an hour. I, obviously, did it almost solely
about Pearl Jam, being the PJ-aholic I am (he says while listening to
Soundgarden lol)! Never mind, here goes: Obviously, I would be deliriously happy, riding back and forth across Seattle to play numerous sell-out concerts. Then we would be whisked away to the beautiful, tropical beach (that's been installed for my pleasure), where Eddie Vedder would teach me to surf, sing with unbelievable strength and emotion and to smoke, ...erm...something! Stone Gossard would then teach me the fine art of writing diverse, memorable, fantastic riffs on his Les Paul (from the Stone Gossard Fan Club). Mike McCready would then give me a masterclass on how to solo like the Devil himself was chasing my fingers across the fretboard ((N.B. I had just been listening to PJ at lunchtime, which helped inspire me!)). Jeff Ament would teach me how to write strangely uplifting, brooding songs (and how to wear daft hats coolly). Finally Matt Cameron would teach me the art of rhythmic mastery, and I would by this time be (not likely!) a musical genius. Later in the holiday, I would walk across the glistening, white (deserted) beach, with only the sea in my ears and the surfboard in my hand for company, the perfect purple-red of the wildly entrancing sunset would be reflected by the whiteness of the beach, and all would be still, and all would be calm. The natural beauty of the scene would inspire me to write a soft acoustic song, using the autographed guitar that all the members of Pearl Jam had signed, which would be handed to me by Rick (my band's guitarist/bassist).The guitar would be used on their next (and hopefully best) album. What has to be made clear here is that no lyrics should be written at this point, as even in such a situation, they would be guaranteed sentimental rubbish. No amount of 'unbelievability' would change this fact! Waking up - still on the beach - I would go to the specially built recording studio, and produce an album of pristinely recorded rock songs. I would then gaze over the horizon; the endless ocean gently and majestically rippling atop a sea of harmonious animal and plant life. A limousine would then pull up, and I would remove my bicycle from the back, and ride it (traffic-free roads, of course), to the next Pearl Jam concert, with support from a newly-reformed Soundgarden. The concert hall would be packed, but no-one in any danger, and despite the vast number of fans, I would make my way to the front of the crowd. Ed and Stone would then invite me onstage, and I would perform a flawless rendition of 'Yellow Ledbetter' while both singing and playing guitar note-perfectly (not a chance!), and then pulling off 'Immortality', this time letting Ed handle vocal duties (for obvious reasons). Rapturous applause would ring around the stadium for minutes, and in my head for days. Richard and Matthew would then jet in, and we would actually get some practice in (Shock! Horror!), before parachuting from forty thousand feet back onto those glistening sands (with Matthew landing on a few jagged rocks - drummers are ten-a-penny), and write a song together (again, Shock! Horror!). Then, we would be given free use of a full-size soccer pitch, so we would ask some friends to participate (a few famous friends we converted to soccer, i.e. Pearl Jam and Soundgarden). Every single meal would be a delight, with the food a selection of both the exotic and the familiar. Naturally, Chinese food would be on the menu, however, we couldn't eat as we usually do, as the salads would be intriguing delights, with, again, a blend of the traditional and the sumptuously exotic food. No calorie Pepsi would be served, but with a difference; this non-calorie Pepsi would actually not taste as if all the flavour had been removed with a suction pump, but be a fizzy delight. To end this magnificent holiday, we would jet off to take
in another music-fest. Matthew would hop over to the 'Punk' stage, me
to the 'Grunge' stage, and Richard alternating between the two. I would
guest with most of the bands onstage, such as: Pearl Jam, Soundgarden,
possibly R.E.M. and Creed (but only Creed so I could kill them with vats
of napalm). THAT would make me happy, and end the holiday perfectly, and
also end this letter! Chris George" What I put in 'double-brackets' isn't in the original text, all the rest was in the exam! I got a high A/A+ :-) |