rambles

neenerbean - The Pearl Jam Tantrum

This was written for my English class January 25, 1995...

"On December 6, 1994, my favorite band of nearly three years released their third studio album. I had been waiting for Pearl Jam to release "Vitalogy" since I first heard of the album's existance sometime in August. It was supposed to be available to fans like me on August 20, then sometime in September, then on October 4, then finally, the date was set for December 6. I basically vowed to get the CD the day it came out, but someone decided that day should be a day for bad driving weather. Therefore, my mom wouldn't take me.

My bad temper and I decided to explode. Not a good choice. Rage filled me from head to toe. The anticipation that had burned in me all day at school, and all month for that matter, was sinking into my shoes like ashes from a lone campfire. I felt hurt, angry, and almost crazed. As soon as I walked through the front door and into the living room after walking in the icy cold form the four-way-stop "near" my house, I told my mom to get ready to go. She said "no way" or something to that affect, because she didn't want to drive in bad weather "if she didn't have to." "How dare her!" I thought. I shouted rude and obscene things through tears and stormed upstairs.

In my room I collapsed onto my bed heaving with sobs. Obviously, I'm a complete Pearl Jam freak. I "worship" lead singer Eddie Vedder, who I think is a total god - a wonderfully timid human being who understands thoughts I figured no one else in their right mind would understand. His voice can send me away and the only way back is the interruptions of the outside world. Guitarist Stone Gossard is a genius; Jeff Ament is amazing. Their music has always been an inspiration to me. I own nearly every single song ever recorded by them, or members of the band.

After I (sort of) calmed down enough to slow my emotions to normal tears, I proceeded to throw anything throwable (pillows, etc.) and screamed yet more obscenities and curses. Posters of Eddie Vedder fluttered to the floor as pillows hit the door and walls surrounding it. I pounded my fists against the walls, and muffled my screams and sobs with blankets.

Sounds as if I was a little overly worked up, but to me Pearl Jam is sacred. I still feel betrayed by my mother about the whole situation, since she said she would take me. I suppose now it seems a bit silly. I even feel childish and embarrassed. But I also feel angry and depressed about the whole situation. It was worth it because I got the CD the next day and it's one of the best I've ever laid my ears on (next to bands like Hole & Live's latest releases)."

[Teachers comments: Did your mom give in and take you? Did she know about the tantrum? How did she feel? You need to include her reaction in this, as well. Why are you still angry and depressed about this? Come on, you have the CD now! Time to get some "Even Flow," I think (Eddie V. does have a way with words).

P.S. Save this for 15 years and read it when you're 30. It will be an eye-opener.]

[Peer comments (the ones listed are from my friend Jillian, that's why they're so funny that I had to include them LOL):

1. Does the paper have a clear thesis? Is this thesis based on the topic of the essay?
I likes, I likes. Very clear thesis - clear as glass!

2. Is the paper organized sufficiently? Is there a logical order to the paper? What can be done to improve organiztion?
Oh, the chronology of the paper is just magnificant. Simply divine.

3. Does the paper provide enough details about the incident so that you can understand what occurred? Where do details need to be added?
I think your event was represented well (details about how wonderful the music is aren't necessary - would be used only to further your motives, which isn't needed). *It's like Jello, there's always room for details.

4. Is the motivation for the action clear? Why or why not?
You may want to add more details about your Eddie Vedder fixation. Not much was mentioned about him, and that's just not like you! Otherwise good.

5. Are the results of the action clear? Why or why not?
Yes. I would throw things too. But I can also understand where your mom was coming from. You should illustrate more about your mother.

6. Does the paper have sufficient and coherent conclusion? Why or why not?
The ending was just adorable - loved it. It's good to recognize your mistakes.

7. What suggestions would you give the write for improving the paper?
In the last paragraph attempt to emphathize with your mother and see it from her side.

8. What positive things do you have to say about the paper?
Loved it, babe! Great simile!]