rambles

RUMOR KILLER - TIS THE SEASON TO KILL RUMORS, FA LA LA LA LA LA

Hey Ho away we go, I know, I know, it's been ages but like that band they call Pearl Jam, the ol'RK has been on a bit of a hiatus. You know working on other projects, keeping busy, taking naps, the whole nine yards.

But since THE MESSAGE PIT is a-buzzin' and the band has a few things a-stirrin', let's just get a few particular ducks in a row and kill some of those filthy, disgusting, revolting, ugly, dirty and troublesome RUMORS!!

RUMOR #1: "RK, I got know, what is on the TEN CLUB CHRISTMAS SINGLE? I've been pestering my mailman for days about when it's coming. He tells me that he has no idea and to stop bothering him. Can you put my mind at ease so he won't get mad at me? - Tad from Tucson, AZ"

RUMOR KILLER: "Tad, what's important for you to know is that everything must come in its own time. The reason that the fan club single has been delayed is that it's not a single! It's actually a photo album. It's an album of 54 photos which chronicle Jeff's daily routine. I don't want to spoil it, but to put your mind at ease here goes. Photo #1 is Jeff sleeping. Photos #2-6 are Jeff rolling around in bed debating on whether to get up or not. Photo #7 is Jeff sitting up. Photo #8 is Jeff walking to the bathroom, Photo #9 is the bathroom door closed (it's implied that Jeff is using it). Photo #10 is Jeff getting back in bed. Photo #11-16 is Jeff back asleep, the highlight of which is #14 in which Jeff drools. Photos #17-22 depict Jeff finally getting out of bed, walking to the kitchen and starting breakfast. Photo #23 is Jeff eating his daily morning cereal CORN FLAKES. Photo #24 is Jeff drinking TROPICANA ORANGE JUICE... FROM THE CONTAINER! Photo #25-28 is Jeff watching REGIS and fondling the remote control. Photo #29 is Jeff back in bed. Photo #30-32 is Jeff asleep. Photo #33-35 Jeff is finally out of bed and in the shower. (All you see is a steamy shower, sorry to all of those Jeff voyeurs). Photo #35 is Jeff brushing his teeth. Photo #36-49 is Jeff flossing (He's gotta really dig in there!) Photo #50 - Jeff's back in bed. Photo #51 Jeff's dressed and tying his shoes. Photo #52 Jeff closes his front door ready to start the day! Photo #53 Jeff comes back in his apartment. Finally Photo #54 is Jeff back in bed! I hope that helps to soothe your fears!

RUMOR #2: "RUMOR KILLER, two questions. First, Will Stone's new song SHAME ON YOU be on the new album? Second, will anyone other than Ed be singing on the new album? - Sebastian from Victoria, TX"

RUMOR KILLER: "Sebastian, it's not clear right now what will or will not be on PJ's new album. As many recent articles detail, the band will get together early next year to begin to demo a few songs. So until they get together, we won't really know what direction the band will be headed in. As for singing, well let's just say there is talk that there will be no vocals on this new work. I know, I know, it sounds strange but trust me. Ed has been very firm on his belief that singing too often overshadows the truest nature of the band, their strongest gift which is when Stone sighs. If you need an example of how cool Stone's sighs are, just check the title track of his solo album "BAYLEAF". That track is the first one where Stone sighing is fully exposed to all the masses. If you listen to almost every PJ song, one of the backing vocal tracks was always Stone sighing. I know you may not have heard it due to the band not wanting to brag or boast. But if you listen really closely to songs like "BLACK" or "NOTHINGMAN" you can really hear all over the place these weezing intonations which you might have thought was Ed, but actually was Stone sighing. Stone's a master of the sigh. And well, it's only now that the band is willing to really share Stone's great talents in this way. They had always thought to have the sighs add texture to the Mike's guitar work or Ed vocals. But now, now, there ready to have all the songs just have Stone sighing in place of the vocals and this policy will hold true on the road when they play older songs. That way they kill two birds with one stone (get the pun? - hahaha) But they will save a fortune on liner notes and Ed can focus on his tambarine-playing. The ol'RK can hardly wait! It will fantastic. No more, "Hail, Hail the lucky ones" from now on it will be, "Ahhh, Ahhh, ahhhh, ahhh, ahhhhhh"!

WELL THAT'S IT FOR NOT. ENJOY YOUR X-MAS AND NEW YEAR!

PLEASE NOTE - THE RK'S SCRATCHES ON THIS PARTICULAR WALL, WHILE DELIGHTFUL AND ENRICHING ARE IN NO WAY, SHAPE, FORM, OR CONTENT AFFILIATED WITH PEARL JAM, ITS MEMBERS, CURTIS MANAGEMENT, SONY, EPIC RECORDS, THE TEN CLUB, THE VHC, SYNERGY, THE RUMOR PIT, KAT, OR OFTHESEA EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT WE ALL REGULARLY EXCHANGE X-MAS, NEW YEAR, VALENTINE'S DAY, APRIL FOOL'S DAY, EASTER, ARBOR DAY, FLAG DAY, MEMORIAL DAY, LABOR DAY, JULY 4TH, HALLOWEEN, AND THANKSGIVING CARDS!

PLEASE ALWAYS REMEMBER! RUMORS CAN BE DEADLY... BUT ONLY IF YOU BELIEVE THEM!

THE RUMOR KILLER