So it's 12:30 pm in the afternoon (still morning for me
today), I just smoked a bowl full of the good green herb and now I had
the munchies. After debating on what to eat I decided it was time for
some pancakes. We just got blueberries from the bush in my backyard
and I figured I'd use them.
Now, not for nuttin' but I like to think I make some of the lightest,
fluffiest, best tasting pancakes you will ever taste in your life (I
watched the guy on the food channel and now I got it down). They're
actually amazingly easy to make, you really only need to know two things
to make the perfect pancakes.
So everything's running smooth, I'm three pancakes deep and feeling
good. I get down to the last pancake, there's no more batter left, and
since it was the last one I figured I didn't need the spatula again
so I washed it and put it in the dishwasher. I planned on flipping the
pancake out of the pan with an effortless turn of my wrist, watch it
flutter through the air wafting yummy pancake smells in front of my
nose, and then catch it ever so gently on the waiting warm plate.
Everything was going according to plan. I had the butter drizzled all
over the top of it glistening off the golden crust and I could smell
the toasty flavor coming from the griddle that let me know the bottom
was a honey bear brown, just crispy enough for texture while still able
to guzzle up the puddles of syrup that were waiting for it on my plate..
So I go to flip it out with the effortless turn of my wrist when..."Ahhh-shit!"...
the damn thing was stuck to the pan...
So now I start violently shaking the pan to pry the fucker loose and
my worst horror happened, the f'n thing slipped out of the pan when
I wasn't ready. Que in slow motion, I think you could even here my garbled
"N-Ooo-oOo-O" as my facial expression turned from a goofy
grin to a grotesque, anguished look of fear. The pancake fluttered through
the air wafting yummy pancake smells in front of my nose and then I
watched it completely (I wasn't even close, pretty pathetic attempt,
truth be told) miss the freakin plate and land with a *slap* on the
floor... My pancake looked like Wile E. Coyote when he goes careening
off a cliff and falls ten stories to a 'poof' of dust on the ground...Upon
a double take I noticed that my lovely pancake with the fresh blueberries
from my backyard swirled in and had just made a slapping sound as it
landed on the floor had come to a rest with the...butter...side...down.
So now the pancake's on the floor, butter-side down mind you *grrr*,
and I gotta make a split second decision (I'm on a five second clock,
after all). Now, I could scream "MOTHER#$@*&R!" and turn
my head in anger and disappointment and send my pancake off into the
8-12 second range , much too dangerous for a human to safely consume
or make one last desperate dive for my pancake before my five seconds
are up. Well, thinking about what to do already cost me about 3 seconds
so I had exactly 2 left. I pounced on the pancake, peeled it off the
floor like a Band-Aid, slathered some syrup all over it, carved it into
sections with my fork and shoved it down without looking at it. It was
pretty f'n good, too. HA
progress is happiness